Question: Some people hold the view that after burying the dead and shaking the soil from their hands that they should stand around the grave of the deceased and make duʿā (supplication) and seek Allah’s forgiveness for him, and while doing so, they raise their hands. What is your view on this?
Answer: The origin is that the duʿā is legislated for the one who has died, and to ask Allah to grant him firmness (in the grave). So when the deceased is buried, we should remain standing ― and each person should supplicate by himself, asking Allah to grant him steadfastness. May Allah bless you.
As for standing in a group while one person supplicates and the rest of them utter “āmeen” after him, then that is in opposition to the Sunnah. The Sunnah is that which Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) encouraged us with, and that which the Salaf as-Sālih were upon ― and that is what I mentioned to you at the beginning (of this answer). Each person should stand by himself and direct himself (his worship) towards Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, with supplications for the deceased, that Allah grants him steadfastness and firmness in his current state because he is being questioned (by the Angels). So this is the correct way as I have stated.
Question: The question is also about raising one’s hands with the duʿā at the grave.
Shaikh Rabeeʿ: Do you mean in a congregation (jamāʿah) or individually? As for raising the hands as a group (in jamāʿah) then there is no call for that… and I have spoken about that already. As for raising one’s hands individually (and making duʿā yourself), then that is not from the innovated practices, and all praise is for Allah. This practice was established by the Prophet (ﷺ), and it is reported plentifully in the life of the noble Messenger (ﷺ). And when Ibrāheem (ʿalaihis-salām) left his son Ismāʿeel and his wife Hājar (in Makkah), he ascended a hillock and raised his hands and made duʿā. The Messenger (ﷺ) raised his hands on the day of Badr, and on Mount of Safā he raised his hands (during ʿUmrah and Hajj), and there are many proofs for raising the hands in supplication ― may Allah bless you. So, I see no objection to raising the hands in duʿā at this time (after the burial).
Source: Audio title, Izālatul-Ilbās ʿammashabtaha fee Adh-hānin-Nās (here).
Asalāmu alaykum wa rahmatullāhi wa barakātuh ustādh.
Many deobandi’s hold a congregational ‘Dua’ at the masjid or in a house for 1-3 days after someone has passed away. Being one of two salafis in my entire family, I’m aware this is bid’ah and do not want anything to do with this. However, as an unmarried young woman living with Pakistani parents who are upon bid’ah and not having much freedom, what is the ruling if they force me to go?
I would not partake in their bid’ah but I’m worried that when someone who is closely related passes away, like a grandparent, that I will be forced to go.
Even if I don’t partake I’d still be increasing their numbers at their deobandi masjid or the house of where this bid’ah is going on (usually the deceaseds house).
Will I be sinful, considering parental authority? It would cause a lot of trouble if I refused to go, I say this based off past experiences with other matters. Allahu musta’an.
Don’t participate in these gatherings of mourning and maatams (in peoples’ houses), or congregational du’ās. They are misguided innovations. Stay at home, and do something more useful. Inshā’ Allah, they will not physically drag you – at most, they will show you displeasure (and get angry), which is no problem – better to have their displeasure than the displeasure of the Lord.