In the name of Allāh, Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy.
All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all creation; may Allah extol the mention of our noble Prophet Muhammad in the highest company of Angels, bless him and give him peace and security―and his family, his Companions and all those who follow him correctly until the establishment of the Hour.
The physical, emotional, and sometimes religious fragility of a woman is not an excuse for any man to mistreat her or take advantage of her. Allāh’s Messenger (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) stated, “I strongly admonish you with respect to the rights of the two fragile ones: the orphan and the woman.”1 Ibn Mājah (no. 3678), Al-Hākim (no. 1/63 and 4/128), graded hasan by Shaikh Al-Albānī in As-Sahīhah (no. 1015). He (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) also said, “Indeed you have rights over your women and your women have rights over you!”2Ibn Mājah (no. 1851) and graded hasan by Shaikh Al-Albānī.
The rights of the wife must not be neglected because these rights are enjoined upon the husband by Allāh, and Allāh (the Most High) will call him to account if he is unjust, harsh, and cruel towards his wife, his daughters, his sister or his mother. Allāh’s Messenger (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) stated: “Fear Allāh with respect to women, for indeed you married them upon a trust from Allāh—and intercourse with them was made lawful for you by the word of Allāh… So, they have a right over you that you feed them and clothe them in a manner that is befitting.”3Muslim (no. 1218).
He (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) also said, “The right of the woman over her husband is that he gives her to eat when he eats, he buys her clothing when he buys clothing for himself—and he does not hit her in the face, he is not horrible towards her in speech or action, and he does not boycott her—and if he must, it is within the same house.”4At-Tabarānī in Al-Kabīr from Muʿāwiyah ibn Haydah I, Ibn Hibbān and Al-Bayhaqī. Graded sahīh by Shaikh Al-Albānī in Sahīh Al-Jāmiʿ (no. 3149).
So, it is a duty upon the man to go out, work and provide for his family. The men of Sunnah and Salafiyyah take their duty to their families seriously. Abu Hurairah (radiyallāhu ‘anhu) narrated that Allāh’s Messenger (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “By Allāh, for one of you to go out in the morning, carrying firewood on his back, and then sell it to suffice himself and to give in charity from it, is better for him than going to a man asking him for help—who may give him something or may not. That is because the upper hand (i.e., the giving hand) is better than the lower hand (i.e., the taking hand). And begin by giving to those for whom you are responsible.” A man asked him, “For whom am I responsible, O Messenger of Allāh?” He (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “Your wife is from those for whom you are responsible as well as your slave girl and your child.”5Al-Bukhārī (4/585), Muslim (3/96), Abu Dawūd (no. 1676) and others. Declared sahīh by Shaikh Al-Albānī in Irwā’ Al-Ghalīl (no. 834).
Allāh’s Messenger (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “A dīnār that you spend in the cause of Allāh, a dīnār you spend in freeing a slave, a dīnār you spend as charity upon a poor person and a dīnār that you spend on your family. The one that earns you the greatest reward is what you spent on your family.”6Muslim (no. 995).
And he (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, “It is sufficient as a sin upon you that you withhold from feeding those for whom you are responsible.”7Muslim (no. 996).
So, the point here is that a marriage is about responsibilities, duties, and cooperation between the spouses. A wife should be grateful when she has a husband who strives to seek knowledge, worship Allāh and look after his family—a man who works and earns a salary. She is thankful to her husband for the efforts he makes for his family even if the wage is small and they struggle through hard times. How often was the case that the Salaf would suffer from hunger and poverty, yet they would constantly show gratitude to Allāh, praise Him and Glorify Him. So, seek nearness to Allāh my sister, by calling upon Him with duʿā, worshipping Him, remembering Him constantly (dhikr), seeking His forgiveness a hundred times a day or more, and being grateful. This will bring tranquillity to your heart and comfort to your soul, may Allāh bless you.
Excerpt from the book: “The Characteristics of a Righteous Wife in Light of the Quran and Sunnah.”
- 1 Ibn Mājah (no. 3678), Al-Hākim (no. 1/63 and 4/128), graded hasan by Shaikh Al-Albānī in As-Sahīhah (no. 1015).
- 2Ibn Mājah (no. 1851) and graded hasan by Shaikh Al-Albānī.
- 3Muslim (no. 1218).
- 4At-Tabarānī in Al-Kabīr from Muʿāwiyah ibn Haydah I, Ibn Hibbān and Al-Bayhaqī. Graded sahīh by Shaikh Al-Albānī in Sahīh Al-Jāmiʿ (no. 3149).
- 5Al-Bukhārī (4/585), Muslim (3/96), Abu Dawūd (no. 1676) and others. Declared sahīh by Shaikh Al-Albānī in Irwā’ Al-Ghalīl (no. 834).
- 6Muslim (no. 995).
- 7Muslim (no. 996).