Allah, the Most High, stated:
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌۭ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّۭا كَبِيرًۭا ٣٤
“Men are in charge of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because the men spend [to support them] from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient [to Allah and to their husbands], and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (their chastity and their husband’s honour and property). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them [first], then refuse to share their beds, finally beat them lightly [if it is useful]*, but if they return to obedience, seek not against them any means of annoyance. Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.” (An-Nisā’ 4:34)
Al-Imām Ibn Katheer (died 774 H) stated in his commentary of this verse:
“‘Men are in charge of women’, meaning: he is her leader, her senior, her commander and the one who corrects her behaviour when she inclines away from correct conduct.
‘Because Allah has made one of them to excel the other‘, meaning: because men are better than women and the man excels the woman. For this reason, Prophethood is particular to men, and likewise, the leadership of a nation, due to the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): ‘A people (nation) will never be successful when their leadership is in the hands of a woman.’ This narration was reported by Al-Bukhāri from Abdur-Rahmān Ibn Abee Bakrah from his father. (no. 4425, 7099). Likewise, the appointment as a judge and other such matters are not for her.
‘And because the men spend [to support them] from their means,’ – meaning: the men give wives the dowry upon marriage, and maintain the women from their wealth, and they bear the costs that Allah has obligated upon them to support their women from what has been stated in Allah’s Book and in the Sunnah of His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him).
So the man has excellence over her and is favoured, so it is fitting that he is in charge of her just as Allah (the Most High) has said:
وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌۭ ۗ
‘So, the men (husbands) have a degree over their wives [in responsibility and authority].’ Al-Baqarah 2:228.
‘Ali Ibn Abee Talhah narrated from Ibn ‘Abbās: ‘Men are in charge of women’, meaning: they are their leaders, so she is to obey him in that which he commands. And obedience to him is that she is good to his family, and she guards his wealth, and so on.”
* Beating one’s wife is not lawful in many countries, so men should refrain from striking their wives, and women are not permitted to strike their husbands at all, even though the latter seems to be becoming more commonplace in many societies.
