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In the name of Allah, Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy.
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of all creation, and may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and all his Companions.
Hadeeth Six: “It is prohibited for a woman to resemble men in clothing, behaviour, speech and so on.”
Ibn ‘Abbās (radiyallāhu ‘anhumā) said:
لَعَنَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم الْمُتَشَبِّهِينَ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ بِالنِّسَاءِ، وَالْمُتَشَبِّهَاتِ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ بِالرِّجَالِ
“Allah’s Messenger (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) cursed the men who resemble and imitate women; and the women who resemble and imitate men.” (Al-Bukhāri, no. 5885)
Benefits and lessons:
This hadeeth is proof of the prohibition of men resembling and imitating women and of women resembling and imitating men in the way they speak, dress, walk, behave and so on. Abu Hurayrah narrated:
لَعَنَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم الرَّجُلَ يَلْبَسُ لِبْسَةَ الْمَرْأَةِ وَالْمَرْأَةَ تَلْبَسُ لِبْسَةَ الرَّجُلِ
“The Messenger of Allah (salallāhu ʿalaihi wasallam) cursed the man who dressed like a woman and the woman who dressed like a man.” (Abu Dawud, no. 4098 and authenticated by Al-Albāni)
The resemblance of the opposite sex is of three categories:
i) Those things which are shared between the sexes from the types of cloth, clothing, speech and manners, etc―so this is permissible for males and females because the origin of matters is permissibility, and these shared affairs do not fall under the prohibition stated in the above hadeeth. For example, both sexes wear cotton socks, apply oil to hair and skin, drive cars, cook, wear watches, buy and sell goods, etc.
ii) Those things which are specific to men and distinguish masculine behaviour are not permissible for women. So, women cannot wear garments made and fashioned for men, take on the hairstyles of men (or shave the head), walk like men, talk and behave in a masculine manner, pretend to be the same as men, seek leadership over the household, nation or tribe.
iii) Those things which are specific to women and distinguish feminine behaviour are not permissible for men. For this reason, men are forbidden from wearing women’s garments, applying make-up (lipstick, blusher, nail polish, etc), altering their walk to resemble a woman and making feminine gestures with one’s hands, eyes or body, copying the hairstyles of women, singing, beating the duff, wearing jewellery, silk garments and gold, shaving the beard, etc. Also, parents should discourage boys from playing with girls’ toys and dolls, and discourage girls from playing with toys traditionally associated with boys.
Shaikh Ibn Bāz (rahimahullāh) said: “It is not permissible for a man to resemble the unbelievers or women. Likewise, the woman is not permitted to imitate or resemble the men or the unbelievers [in that which specifically identifies them and their behaviour]―not in fashion, custom, the way they talk or walk, or anything else. And it is not permitted for a man to imitate a woman in her fashion, behaviour, speech or the way she walks; and he is not allowed to imitate the unbelievers. The woman too is prohibited from imitating men in their dress, the way they walk and talk because Allah’s Messenger (salallāhu ʿalaihi wasallam) cursed the women who imitate [and seek to resemble] men and he cursed the men who imitate and resemble women.” (Source: Nūr ‘alad-Darb) From the wisdom behind the prohibition of resembling the opposite sex is because Allah has given men a level of responsibility and authority over women:
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because the men spend to support them from their wealth. Therefore the righteous women are obedient [to Allah and to their husbands], and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (i.e. their chastity and their husband’s property).” An-Nisā: 34. So Allah distinguished between them in terms of physical and religious roles. So men have a distinction that is particular to them not shared by women―and women have a distinction that is particular to them not shared by men―and each sex is warned from pretending or seeking to behave like the other. The woman is a wife, a sister, she menstruates and bears children, she breastfeeds and nurtures them and so on―a man does not have these characteristics. Instead, the man is a father, a brother, a husband, a protector, a fighter, a leader, the head of the household, a provider who does not shrink from his manly and religious obligations.
So if a man chooses to be effeminate and relinquishes these manly and masculine qualities, he will fall and become lowly. Furthermore, if a man willingly gives up the duties that Allah has placed upon him, such as taking responsibility for his wife and children, then he has not fulfilled the command of Allah. So, he hands over this responsibility to his wife and puts her in charge of the affairs of his family―through this the family is weakened and even ruined. Or the woman vies with the man and eventually dominates their relationship, leaving him chastened and emasculated. With this role reversal comes the disintegration of the family unit as can be seen clearly in the Western world. For this reason, Allah’s Messenger (salallāhu ʿalaihi wasallam) gave each person a responsibility, so that there is no confusion and no doubt:
كلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ، وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْؤولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ، فَالأَمِيرُ رَاعٍ وَهُوَ مَسْؤُولٌ، وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ عَلَى أَهْلِهِ وَهُوَ مَسْؤُولٌ، وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَى بَيْتِ زَوْجِهَا وَهِيَ مَسْؤُولَةٌ، أَلاَ وَكُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ، وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْؤُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ
“All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is a shepherd and will be held responsible. A man is a shepherd over his (entire) family, and he will be held responsible. A woman is a shepherd of the house of her husband and she will be held responsible. Each of you is a shepherd and each is responsible for his flock.” (Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, no 212, declared saheeh by Al-Albāni) The wife, mother, sister and daughter have important roles in the family and in society, there is no doubting that. They nurture, advise, educate, support and cultivate in the capacity that Allah has given them. We see countless examples of amazing women of the past, such as the wives, mothers and daughters of the Prophets; the wives of our Prophet (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam), the female Companions who met him and believed in him; and the women throughout Islamic history who are role models for the Muslim women of today. Our sisters are not in need of taking western liberal feminists as their role models, alhamdulillāh.
So, when a woman seeks to reverse these roles or desires to resemble men, she ruins this divinely ordained and natural equilibrium and this, in turn, leads to chaos in the home and in society. Also, effeminate behaviour does not befit any man, husband or father―such a man is a terrible role model for his sons and daughters. And any woman that seeks to contradict her God-given nature and instead fights for the “right” to be treated like a man―and strives to behave like a man, talk like a man, dress like a man, walk like a man etc, she is opposing her fitrah, her natural state, her physiological and psychological makeup as well as her femininity with which Allah has beautified her. These women often end up depressed, resentful and lonely without husbands, caring children or loving families. So, I advise my sisters to be vigilant and careful of Western feminist indoctrination through the media and the education system that leads to the displeasure of your Lord and your unhappiness. Allah’s Messenger (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) cursed the women who assume the manners of men. This means that they are far away from His Mercy, and we seek Allah’s refuge from that.
Ibn ‘Abbas (radiyallāhu ‘anhumā) narrated that the Prophet (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) cursed the effeminate men, those men who assume the manners of women. He said:
أَخْرِجُوهُمْ مِنْ بُيُوتِكُمْ
“Turn them out of your houses.” Verily, the Prophet (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) turned out such-and-such man, and ‘Umar turned out such-and-such woman. (Al-Bukhari, no. 5886) In a narration, he (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) said to his wives: “You should not allow these effeminate men to enter upon you.” (Al-Bukhāri, no. 5887)
Muslim (believing) women should beware of following Western liberal societies and customs that have ruined the natural order of relationships and the traditional family unit. These societies program their populations through education, social and news media. Most people are unaware, enslaved, and not truly free. They are taught that worshipping only One God and learning about the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ is a waste of time. So, they busy the people with short-term worldly pleasures, the pursuit of wealth, and entertainment such as following the lives of film actors and singers, one-night stands, visiting bars and nightclubs, watching endless movies and sports events, gossip and frivolity―yet with all of this fun, the West has the highest rates of depression, drug abuse, self-harm and suicide in the world among young (‘Gen Z’) men and women. The West promotes radical feminism that encourages women from a young age to compete with men, to behave like them and to make success in the workplace their primary goal. They are taught to put their careers first and not worry about marriage, motherhood or building a family. All of this is taking place at the very same time as the sexual exploitation of women in the West continues to rise!
Radical Western feminists and brainwashed Muslims see the committed Muslim wife and dutiful mother as a kind of gender traitor (or as a feeble woman who is unable to recognise that she is oppressed!). And, they see the liberated (and even promiscuous) woman as a champion and freedom fighter in the struggle against male domination. So their role model is the liberated feminist who “stands up” to her husband (or partner) and father, who demands the “freedom” to come and go as she pleases wherever she pleases, to dress as she wants and meet who she wants―their heroine is the single mother (or liberated wife) who works a gruelling 40-hour week, leaving her children in day-care centres or with babysitters while she pursues her career. This lifestyle opposes the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of the Messenger (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam). Even in the West, this reckless and misguided path is bearing its bitter fruits.
SKY NEWS: Monday 17 August 2020 13:41, UK
“The number of elderly women without children is set to triple in 25 years, meaning there will be a greater need for formal social care, official analysis suggests. There are currently 20,892 women aged 80 without children in England and Wales, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) reported. By 2045, the figure is expected to more than triple to 66,313. This is because women born in the middle of the 1960s baby boom, who are now in their 50s, are twice as likely to be childless than those born immediately after the Second World War… Since children are the main group providing informal care for adults over 85, demand for care homes will likely rise.”
It is unfortunate that many Muslims have been indoctrinated and brainwashed by these radical feminist ideas. It is these false concepts that have led to ever-increasing divorce rates, promiscuity, children born out of wedlock, abortions, single mothers and absent fathers. None of this is good for Islam and the Muslim communities; indeed not good for any community.
Many Women Regret Choosing Career Over Family
“Two new books–one British and one American–suggest that many women who placed careers ahead of family now regret their choice. In The Miseducation of Women, to be published this month in Britain, Dr. James Tooley, a professor of education policy at the University of Newcastle, argues that many professional women are unhappy because they did not put home and children first. As the Daily Telegraph recently reported, Tooley blames the feminist revolution of the 1960s and 1970s for creating attitudes that “desperately undervalued” the role of the housewife in society. Basing his findings on an analysis of data gathered from over 100,000 men and women in Britain and the US, Tooley told the Telegraph he discovered that “30% of young women are unhappier with their lives than previous generations were, while young men now seem happier than previous generations were.” Tooley suggests these women would have been more contented had they stayed home and raised children. “I expect career women will react very strongly against me and to even suggest women would be happier in the home has become almost a taboo,” he said. “We need to cull a few sacred cows and start a debate on the subject. That is what I am trying to do.” In Creating a Life: Professional Women and the Quest for Children, American economist, Sylvia Ann Hewlett, comes to similar conclusions. She states that among women over 40 earning over $100,000 a year, 49% are childless and 43% are unmarried, compared to only 19% and 17% respectively for men. As Washington Post columnist, William Raspberry noted, Hewlett makes the “poignant discovery” that for many of them it was not their choice that they “did not plan to remain childless. It’s something that just sneaked up on them while they were distracted by their careers.”” (Quotation from Rev. H.A. Bergsma, USA)
“According to Lisa Benenson, former editor of Working Woman and Working Mother magazines, “The signals are very clear. Young women are told that a serious person needs to commit to her career in her 20s and devote all her energies to her job for at least ten years if she is to be successful.” But the fact is, if you take this advice you might well be on the wrong side of 35 before you have time to draw breath and contemplate having a child—exactly the point in life when infertility can—and overwhelmingly does—become an issue. Media hype about advances in reproductive science only exacerbates the problem, giving women the illusion that they can delay childbearing until their careers are well established. My survey tells us that 89% of young, high-achieving women believe that they will be able to get pregnant deep into their 40s. But sadly, new reproductive technologies have not solved fertility problems for older women. The research shows that only 3% to 5% of women who attempt in vitro fertilization in their 40s actually succeed in bearing a child. This kind of information is hard to come by because the infertility industry in this country likes to tout the good news—with dire consequences. Too many career women put their private lives on the back burner, assuming that children will eventually happen for them courtesy of high-tech reproduction—only to discover disappointment and failure.” (Executive Women and the Myth of Having It All, by Sylvia Ann Hewlett, Harvard Business Review, April 2002)
Advice to the Believing Women
As for the believing woman, then she holds on to the truth regardless of what is happening around her. She takes her example from the righteous women of the past, and from the Prophets. Through times of difficulty and oppression, they hold on to the truth because they know that the truth is the way of the Messenger Muhammad (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam), and that is the way of the Sahābah. They keep in mind the hadith of Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood who said: The Messenger of Allah drew for us a line, and then said, “This is the path of Allah.” Then he drew lines to the right and left of it, and he said: “These are divergent paths – and upon the head each of these paths, there is a devil calling to it.” Then the Messenger of Allah (salallāhu ‘alaihi wasallam) recited the Aayah: “And this is My straight path so follow it and follow not other paths for they will separate you away from His path..” [Surah An’aam: 153]. The path of the truth and the path of Sunnah is one path, so upon you, my sisters is to hold fast to it. For if you were to hold on to it, regardless of what people around you are upon, what your friends are upon, what your family is upon or what the society is upon, then Jannah is your reward just as Allah has said: “Those who say: Our Lord is Allah and then they remain steadfast; upon them Angels will descend at the time of their death, saying: Fear not, nor grieve! But receive the glad tidings of Paradise, which you have been promised. We have been your friends in the life of this world and so in the Hereafter. Therein you shall have all that your inner-selves desire, and therein you shall have all for which you ask for.” [Surah Fussilat: 30-31] Further essential reading for Muslim women: An advice to Sisters to remain steadfast upon the Sunnah and Salafiyyah.
And all praise is due to Allah, Lord of all creation, and may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and all his Companions.
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